Prediction: 2006, the year of the moped

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Prediction: 2006, the year of the moped

Postby Micronaut » Fri Dec 30, 2005 5:39 pm

Predictions from Wave Magazine Editor:


Transportation
Mopeds. This next year will see the revival of the moped. Not the scooter – the moped. With pedals. They get around 100 miles per tank and cost two bucks to fill up. If you doubt me, swing by West Coast Moped and check out the immaculately restored rides they sell all day long. Mopeds. They’re not just for recently convicted DUI felons anymore.

http://www.thewavemag.com/pagegen.php?p ... rs_v05_i26

whole article follows:

Editor's Note:

Predictions for 2006

What qualifies me to predict 2006 trends? Very little, actually. But I have conducted a strict study of Silicon Valley human behavior over the past 20 years. Plus, I was a vessel for the stars in the early days of this magazine when I penned our legendary horoscopes. The latter, if anything, more than gives these predictions credibility – if not complete validity.

Fashion
White will be the new black. In the past it’s gone from black to brown, or black to grey, or black to navy, or black to baby blue, or black to lime green. We’re on the cusp of some big changes in this country – you know it’s happening – and fashion has always measured the barometric pressure of these changes. White, ya’ll. It represents innocence, redemption, purity, cleanliness, surrender and dry cleaning. Incidentally, the Fauxhawk – a hairstyle that I INVENTED – will finally go out of style. 2006 is all about the short, vaguely balding hair for guys and beach retro sassy for girls.

Health
People will get totally healthy for the month of January, then slip into a collective, deep, KFC-induced tryptophan coma until March, at which point they will emerge and just sort of go back to the way they were before the health kick.

Human Behavior
I think 2006 will find us with a renewed interest in the nemesis. People will realize that it’s just as important that you choose your enemies wisely as it is your friends. I choose Andy Rooney. He’s old, can’t move very fast, is incredibly short on wits these days and… a wrinkly sack of human waste. Take that, sucka! Stare deeply into the inevitable abyss that is your future, Andy Rooney, and tell me: Do you see me giving you the finger? Make 2006 a buffet of pain for your own nemesis! It’s fun.

Transportation
Mopeds. This next year will see the revival of the moped. Not the scooter – the moped. With pedals. They get around 100 miles per tank and cost two bucks to fill up. If you doubt me, swing by West Coast Moped and check out the immaculately restored rides they sell all day long. Mopeds. They’re not just for recently convicted DUI felons anymore.

Politics
Poor Ron Gonzales. He peaked in April 2005, when the word “baseball” almost always popped up in San Jose-related conversations. Now it’s all garbage. Literally. The stars forecast dark skies for The Mayornator. Also, cholesterol.

Economy
More people will jump on the bandwagon of loose capitalist ethics in 2006. Spending among this tight brotherhood will surpass its income, but we’ll all be decked out in the latest white fashions. So it’s all good. Also, the housing market will enjoy a slight resurgence until I sell my dope crib in Santa Clara for one of those cool San Jose 51 lofts. Then it’ll all go to hell.

Sports
The Stealth will move to Tampa because that city will promise them a new stadium. Then the Sharks will head to Sacramento – or maybe Redding. But, more importantly, someone – perhaps Cindy Chavez, of all people – will lobby for a new NBA team and we’ll all go, “Duh.” Screw baseball. NBA is where it’s at in 2006 for San Jose.

So there you have it. Get all dressed up all in white, get sort of in shape, buy a moped, oust a mayor, spend more money and learn to love basketball. 2006, complete.

John Newlin
(attached, photo of Newlin)[/b]
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Micronaut
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re: Prediction: 2006, the year of the moped

Postby chris » Mon Jan 09, 2006 5:54 pm

hi micronaut have you a link for west coast moped thanks chris
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re: Prediction: 2006, the year of the moped

Postby Micronaut » Mon Jan 09, 2006 6:10 pm

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